A white guy takes the Lord’s name in vain. Lord Xenu.

A white guy beats his fat son. In a foot race.

A white guy beats his stupid son. At Jeopardy. Every weeknight at 7:30.

A white guy doesn't want to be disturbed, he's coming down with the sickness.

A white guy has a fish tank. Three of them.

A white guy doesn't want to be disturbed, he's peeing in the shower.

A white guy's gerbil ate it's babies. And he beat his son for it.

A white guy was a Nazi, a grammar Nazi.

A white guy doesn't want to be disturbed. But he needs towels.

A white guy doesn't want to be disturbed. Unless Disturbed comes out with a new album.

A white guy has lent out too many DVDs. He converts to Blu-Ray.

A white guy converts his bomb shelter into a rape dungeon.

A white guy uses pickle as a verb.

A white guy listens to the news on the radio. Huey Lewis & the News.

A white guy corrects your spanish.

A dreamcatcher. A white guy in his bedroom.

A white guy sips a shot of liqueur.

A half drank daiquiri. A sleeping white guy.

A white guy goes to the bathroom; he has to fart.

A white guy ran out of toilet paper, for his RV.

A white guy took a mug shot, and put the mug for sale on Etsy.

A white guy wears under armor. At the Renaissance Festival.

A white guy moves his ficus plant out of the living room. Bad feng shui.

A white guy is awake before you. And he made breakfast.

A white guy was involved in a dogfight. He was playing Top Gun for Nintendo.

A white guy is adventurous. He'll try any activity. Once. Tandem.

A white guy thought outside the box. Because his boss asked him to.

A white guy’s gonna cut you. You stupid coupon.

A white guy's thumbs are sore from playing X-Box. With orphans.

A white guy is going to a Star Trek convention. He worries that painting himself brown for his Klingon costume might be interpreted as racist.

A white guy wipes his ass with baby wipes. He's a full grown man.

A white guy went to a tea party. Not a political rally - an actual tea party.

A white guy double checks his grocery list. Aloe vera. Check. Fabric softener. Check. Seltzer water. Check.

A white guy wiped the sweat off the weight bench after he finished using it. Then he went upstairs and took a shower.

A white guy dreams of paradise. And having cheeseburgers there.

A white guy tried to lose weight by eating at Subway.

A white guy builds a house - in The Sims.

A white guy was forced to fly coach. Then he woke up in a cold sweat.

A white guy crashed his car while trying to put on his seat belt. But he appreciated the irony.

A white guy buys the same pair of New Balances he already has. They're comfortable.